crannyberry

2005-05-26T02:26:00.000+13:00

every month i suffer for a few days. :( no cold drinks, no ice cream. :(

school was so... unnerving. i guess i have learnt several things about the people close to me that i never knew.

i really thought that there was nothing to hide between us and i guess i've come to realise that level of trust was never there. just from one incident that happened today really made me come to see that maybe there are millions of other things that you haven't been saying as well. but you know what, i don't want to know what else you've been hiding as well. cuz knowing more will bring more and more trouble. and that always happens.

2005-05-23T20:55:00.000+13:00

exactly a week since i updated. ahh okie report book results are out. hafta say that my grades are really bad. i hate to admit it but really, it's like so bad that i think i can just kill myself or soemthing. my mum's going to see fifi tmr, i just hope there wouldn't be any bad remarks. i know how she always has sarcastic remarks so, im just hoping for the best.

lit conf is finally over. it went well on the whole i guess. okaay my group wasn't say the group that had the most fun, but i tried to save it at least! and the main bulk of it was actually just lectures and lectures. i couldn't be bothered with the twelfth night lecture cuz it was on films. like huh. that was so irrelevant esp since we're not tested on the versions of twelfth night. but king of castle lecture was good. it's so indepth, like things that no one has ever pointed or raised came out and it was like woahh.

i can't believe that it's over so fast though, cuz it was just a while ago when i looked at the school calendar of events and saw that it was going to be held in may. back then, i was thinking, that would be a long way from now, and now it's finally over, i dunno what to say. it's just been a rollercoaster of events.

few more days to the end of the school term, which really marks the nearness of prelims. gahhh i dun wanna think about it. it just gives me more pressure. and i really wanna get into a good jc! not some weird one with weird people or something.

blogskins has practically no nice layouts! they are all so anime-liked, so cliched, so full of im gonna break down, cry, fall apart so the layout has to be black with a picture of a girl with tears in her eyes. or like a picture of two lovers holding hands and with captions that goes like love you eternally. ackk so damn sick of it.

i hate it when i actually study, but dun do well. it's sucky.

anyway good luck to all taking chinese o's. esp mox and eli and jiaa. good luck and take care. dun stress too much! ((:

2005-05-15T23:04:00.000+13:00

yesterday

-woke up early for lit conf.
-nothing much about it, or rather i won't comment so much.
-had lunch w cheryl and colleen
-shopping after that
-colleen tried on cool jeans
-walked around aimlessly
-left town at 3 plus
-felt sleepy on the way home
-tuition at 4.30
-but mr aw was late and came at 5pm
-he refused to let me off at 6.30pm even though he knew i had to meet char in town at 7.30
-so he made me do more qns on phy before calling it a day
-offered to send me to town but i refused
-oh and he made me msg mox cuz he wasn't sure what time he was supposed to be there
-(he's lousy at text-messaging)
-rushed off to meet char and sw mm in town
-sw mm came in funny home clothes which consisted of very ratty shorts and shirt
-took a cab cuz char and i refused to walk the scary and dark pathway
-got the sw mm's house and juniors tricked us into going to the poolside for food
-stupidly got dunked into the pool
-drenched completely
-we realise there wasn't food except for chips
-i seriously dunno how they survived on just packets of chips for dinner
-had no choice but to eat the soggy chips that was kinda contaminated with pool water cuz some people put their wet hands in
-went up to get a change of clothes
-explored sw mm's kitchen
-tried all her new year cookies and her "hong kong" bread which was actually just raisin bread
-laughed more at sw mm and char's lame jokes
-and then sw mm laughed at my ezlink pictures :\
-munching came in with her very odd loud and low laughter
-and elizabeth said we mao fan sinlin's room
-laughed even more
-played a cruel prank on sw mm
-laughed even harder
-ooh and attempted to take a stupid picture w munching's blue towel
-but sw mm failed to capture the shot
-then it was 10.30
-went back
-tried to study chinese
-conked out.

i just want your time. and i wish you knew what it would be like to see you again.

2005-05-11T19:41:00.000+13:00

quick entry before i head off for the shower. i finally got my ass out of the ass today and went jogging at the track near my house. my sis accompanied me cuz my mum's still scared i'll get molested there or soemthing. mmhmm. i really wanted to jog like 2km but my sister wanted to watch the ah wang show so i practically sprinted there and back so that both of us would be back in time.

i seriously think the education system's pretty much screwed up. everything's so rushed, so last minute, and they expect us to just adapt to whatever changes they come up with. it seriously affects us and i don't think they know cuz they're not the ones in our shoes, they're not the ones preparing for o levels and stressing out, they're not the ones worried about not getting into the preferred jc. so that's basically it. disorganised and hectic is all i can say about them. whatever.

i am so dreading next week. so many things going on and im still not sure if evening by the pond is worth going. char made me sign the pact but i dun feel like going all of a sudden. blehh.

okie i suddenly think it's a huge obssession that has to stop. must must stop. cannot carry on like this! ackk!

so, been doing some thinking of what exactly happened between the march hols week, right up to 2 weeks aft the march holidays. and i really don't know what went wrong. as in, i know something's up, but what's the point when you're not saying. it's really haunting me and i know you like playing mind games with people and you don't normally like to voice your displeasure. but it's really not gonna solve anything if you're gonna carry on with this senseless game. and yeah. i so enjoy one word answers. ooh wells.

we get to wear class tee tmr again! wheee! second time this week! i hope hiphop is funn! haha! okiee gotta run.

2005-05-08T04:27:00.000+13:00

today was boring day. woke up when idiotic cheryl smsed me to say that the lit proj venue was changed to taka. so got there at 11.30 and surprisingly, we finished the lit stuff by one plus when we started at 11am. so now we're only left with the film analysis and then we're done with it! but for the first time, cheryl and did solid work for 2 hours, you know how it gets when both of us get distracted and talk talk talk.

momo, cheryl, minli, and deb walked around after that, searching for last min mothers' day gifts. i din really hafta search though, cuz apparently my mum chose her own mothers' day present so there wasn't much to look for. but i was kinda looking out for something for char's birthday and i managed to find something. hope she likes it though! i think it's prettyyy!

i don't think he's that good looking anymore. hmm somehow it just irks me. haha.

and omg! looks are so so so deceiving! im still shocked!

had mothers' day dinner at some funny clarke quay restaurant. barely ate anything substantial cuz the servings were kinda small. but it was funn! we went to see the reverse bungi and it's like woahhh! you know they actually make you take off your shoes cuz the ride makes your shoes fly off!

hmm still loadsa revision to do. emath test coming up.

2005-05-07T20:49:00.000+13:00

fridays are so exhausting! it's like the last day of the week so by then not much energy is left, and what's worse is there's cca till 6. so im really tired like anything. i thik im gonna sleep at 9 or 10 pm tonight.

it's charlene's bday tomorrow!! supposed to go out to celebrate with her and the rest but my mummy doesn't allow! :( sorry girl! i promise i'll make it up to you with a nice present alright! (:

i bet you're gloating, thinking that i have exams and you don't. well the fact is, my school doesn't have exams. so that's just too bad. im glad i ignored your attempt to make a joke out of something so minute and insignificant.

well had a look at the marksheet today for overall subjects and so on. not satisfied with my grades still! i think it's like an improvement but im still not satisfied! hafta mug moreee!

alright think im sleepy enough. gotta run.

2005-05-06T22:57:00.000+13:00

im so happy i finally got the wallet i wanted! remember how i said it was like gone by the time i got there on monday? well my sis found it at citylink quiksilver so she quickly bought it! ((:

ooh speaking of citylink, i think i'll never wanna step there again. or even walk that underpass. it just brings back bad memories. okie not bad memories but certain places remind me of things that i don't wanna think about again. so, just this bad phobia of it.

mother's day's coming. i still really have no idea what we're doing. but we're having a discussion now. as in we, meaning my sisters and my dad. hahh my dad's involved too! okiee gotta run.

2005-05-04T21:01:00.000+13:00

i really felt like i wasted this entire afternoon at hdb hub!! all we did there was, go there, enjoy the aircon, walk around the artificial ancient walls, stare at the artefacts, and be really amused by the camera fridge that we took a group photo and called it 4pe! okie and not forgetting the free food and drinks that we got! so maybe it was kinda fun, but still, such a waste of time! i like got back at 5 plus and i was totally zonked out to do anymore work. ackk. useless courses that they make us go for.

oh mox cut her hair! i dunno why though! it was short enough before this, and now after the haircut, she looks even more like tweety bird. haha wonder what mr aw will say. hmmmm. oh speaking of which i think we should form some kind of mr aw club or something. like he's teaching so many of us now. like woahh.

i really feel like skipping school tmr but i have unsettled business that i need to do tmr. and i cannot skip it or i'll probably get accused for something that i didn't do, or something that doesn't even exist. people these days really come up with loadsa ideas to accuse people. so i must defend myself and go tomorrow!

i dunno why it turned out like that. it was meant to be a fun activity right. where you bond with the rest. but somehow, others take things into their own control and cause so much unhappiness. blehh.

okiee i get the whole, should i say hi to the person online feeling again. hmm why can't that person say hi first. this is so unfair.

im still lost though. dunno if i should quit. so crapped up.

oh did i mention i hate drawing cf graphs. i always end up spending half the entire perfecting the curve rather than getting the answers. and i always read wrongly. arghh.

okie im out. more emath. and statistics.

2005-05-03T20:41:00.000+13:00

i've been in a really foul mood this entire long weekend. okaay, maybe not for the whole weekend but at least ytd and today. first i was supposed to go town with my sister, den she had her numerous parties so she couldn't accompany me, and so the wallet that i wanted to buy was gone! ackkk! now im stuck with that ugly wallet. so, i was irritated for the whole afternoon today but after having sakae sushi, i somehow felt much better.

i spent the entire weekend living on jap vcds! there're really nice. i mean the first ever jap show that im interested in! and it's really sweet, although it's like only 10 episodes!

i think i need a haircut again! an obssession.

i dun wanna go hdb hub tmr! crapped stuff. it's gonna take up my entire afternoon! bahh!

have you ever had the feeling, of not being sure if you should say hi to someone online on msn cuz you haven't exactly talked to that person in months? ahh well yes i get that feeling all the time. like okay, if i say hi maybe it'll be weird cuz then we'll have nothing to say and there'll be this awkward period of silence. but then again, i really don't wanna lose touch. ooh wells.

i feel deprived this weekend. no shopping! :( i have very lazy family members! and no cheryl! :((

2005-04-30T01:03:00.000+13:00

i've been wishing to fall sick for the past 2 weeks so that i'll have a valid excuse to skip school and stay home and slack. but..now that im finally sick, it's not fun anymore. i haf this really bad runny nose that irritates me constantly! i really intended to watch my jap vcds today, but this whole flu thing made me so tired i just had to sleep for 3 hrs straight this afternoon!

anyway somehow the week has passed really fast! loadsa things have happened. as in more significant things. ahh shan't talk abt it anyway! but for the first time, this week's pastoral care lesson was like FUN! mrs yogee made us write down what we would like ourselves to be like in 3 4 and 8 years time. i happened to sit next to cheryl and mox and as usual mox came up with very hilarious comments about cheryl's goals. like how we laughed at cheryl for being an ambassador and an astronaut. and the drawings looked weird and disgusting too!

speaking of which, cheryl has gone off to hongkong! :( now i haf one person less to laugh with and tell stuff to. for 5 days! come back soon cheryl!!

ahh okie i shall go take my bath before everyone comes back and fights for the toilet!

2005-04-26T23:14:00.000+13:00

sometimes people shouldn't believe everything that they hear or make out someone to be "bad" just by the impression the person has given them. there's been loads of rumours going around about others, and as a bystander i really think it's ridiculous. i mean if you can come up with such weird inferences, then, anyone else can come up with something else more bizarre.

class photo taking tomorrow. hmm really not looking forward to it somehow. but at least we get to miss a bit of chinese. (:

ooh cheer up cheryl! things will be fine soon yeah!

and i can only watch from afar.

2005-04-24T13:41:00.000+13:00

yeahh i agree with mox that there's just too much bitching going on nowadays that it really gets to people. but sometimes people bitch because they somehow think that others are bitching about them. so actually, it's just this whole misunderstanding that can really cause friendships to break apart. and yeahh being a bystander is definitely a better choice.

lit conference ytd. hmm nothing much though. took a bus to town w charm, nic, cheryl, and colleen. we all separated after that though. cheryl and i wanted to go off for sushi at wisma, but somehow she changed her mind, so we ended up going to mos burger at taka. and then, we met a familiar face. what a coincidence i must say! of all places, we had to meet that person outside yoshinoya! i really really think it's fate!

okiee so we walked around after lunch and met more familiar faces. we headed to kino and i finally bought myself a book to read! it's called Anna and Mister God. i started a bit on it last night, and it's really nice! as in, it's easy reading.

had dinner at the line at shangri-la. okaay, it wasn't very fantastic. as in, there was a wide variety of food but the ambience just wasn't there. and by the time i finished dinner, i felt so sleepy i slept on the chair. think all the waiters and people around must haf tot i was nutss.

ooh well. back to my filing. sunday's filing day! :)

2005-04-23T19:34:00.000+13:00

body language. really says alot about how you feel towards someone. so, i was sitting behind my juniors today and i sorta noticed how my junior acted towards her level mate. and it was.. just hostile. as in, it wasn't like very obvious that she din like the person sitting next to her, but certain actions were clear signs that she wasn't exactly fond of her partner. ahh okiee i shouldn't say too much here anyway.

fridays are like, slack days, but with cca. lessons end at 12.50. okie so it was another day that i really felt like skipping. woke up this morning and i really thought of just slacking at home, but managed to get my ass outa the house. school was normal. mundaneee. recess was quieter without mox and eli. decided they din wanna go down for recess. it's kinda like a trend nowadays. to stay up and mug for whatever test there is, or most of the time just complete homework. den there's the trend of coming to school, then signing the green form for early leaving. it's like no longer the norm to skip school. more of leaving early.

okiee fridays are so slack. blehh. ooh yeahh wednesdays were fun though. i'll tell you why next time. gotta run. dad's home. blehh.

2005-04-20T16:24:00.000+13:00

i've just realised how people around me are actually really sad inside, but they do not bother to show their emotions or they do not wish to. and it affects me how close friends feel that way and yet i've never really done anything much to help them. so i've decided i shall talk less from now onwards and listen much much more. (:

school was really a waste of time today! i mean like double periods of fifi was pure boredom, and the only highlight was physics and..maybe lit lecture? i think everyone was like totally zonked out after ytd's rg squash match. like everyone was just so tired today and as i said, fifi's periods made it worse. i should haf skipped sch today! blehh.

backkk

2005-04-18T11:20:00.000+13:00

okie finally got everything restored. spent an hour fixing the html stuff and so on. it kinda looks barren on the left side so im looking for a suitable picture to place, but for now, this is good enough. i like it plain! (:

okiee loadsa things going on right now. as in i dunnoo why but im just exceptionally busy. maybe because i choose to be. sometimes working hard makes you forget things that you really dont want to think about cuz it just occupies your time, leaving you with no space for weird thinkings. but i kinda like it this way. i hate it when i haf nothing to do and that whole lethargy feeling really gets to me.

anyway on to school stuff. gonna support squash on tuesday. its kinda like a big thing cuz its against rg (huge huge rival!) and the entire level's going. wonder how everyone's gonna fit in there. like arent squash spectator stands small? ooh well. its good enough that we're skipping one or two lessons.

chi test tmr. blehh! hate it! i always study so hard for it but in the end, my grades are like crapp cuz of the bloody compre and summary and cloze passage. it takes up like, 20 out of 40 marks of the paper. blehhh.

alrighty, still haf emath and loadsa other math hw to do. somehow the homework pile increases. but ive promised i'll work hard for this prelims! somehow i find that prelims seems more impt than o levels cuz its always harder! okie outa here. tagboard up soon. as soon as i get the rest of the html stuff figured out and settled! (:

2005-03-26T11:17:00.000+13:00

i met up with an old friend of mine today. something that i haven't done in a long while. haha and i have to admit i was scared, cuz the last time round we went out, i ended up arguing with him and hate words were exchanged and so on, so it wasn't exactly a very pleasant experience. but it was actually different this time round. he was much nicer and more jovial. something that i haven't seen in him for a long time. that's what happens when you lose touch with friends that you were once close to. and when you finally catch up, it's like re-knowing the person all over again. haha but i was glad to catch up! (:

i finally got my cargo pants from zara! it's pretty with a ribbon at the front! well my sister got her white long tops which costs like twice the amount of mine. i've still yet to get the ipod. was acually intending to get it today but my other sister couldn't make it to come down town to purchase it with me.

well it's not affecting me so much anymore which is good. it's amazing how it took me so long to finally realise that you aren't as simple as i thought of you to be.

but does it matter anymore?

i hope i'm having jap food tonight! yumm! haven't had sushi in a long while! (:

there's still dreaded cme to complete. haven't exactly started and i should soon!

2005-03-25T19:16:00.000+13:00

good friday holiday is definitely a good break! one week after the march holidays and i feel like i've reverted back to being slacked again. i never know what to do in my free time and it's just spent away like that. ooh goshh. haha okayy nothing much to blog about actually. off to do math.

i've decided that im sick and tired of rectifying the situation. it's no use. you just won't tell me things and it's no use alright! what do you want out of me!? i offer to help and you refuse. you refuse to tell me things and i don't know why. i am just sick of it, so sick that anymore that comes my way would simply irk me the most. you think you're the only one with major problems? i have my own problems too just that i do not tell them to you. and even admist my own troubled life that's filled with turmoils, i took the effort to find out whether things were going fine for you. i mean that's what friends are for right. but guess what. my efforts were unappreciated. and now i hope you feel happy now. that you're lonely and bottled up in your own world of thoughts. cuz that's the way you wanted it right. to be kept in and having a phobia of opening up. just who do you think you are. i would say i am sorry to even bother to help, but on second thoughts, i wouldn't even say the word sorry to you. cuz you're just not worthy of it. you're just way beneath me. and i hope you satisfy yourself in wallowing in pity. i hope it'll bring you 'happiness'. and f off.

2005-03-23T15:06:00.000+13:00

i think we're very lucky that cme project's due next week for us. cuz i see so many people rushing to complete it by tonight. i was supposed to go down to meet the mp, but i had tuition so i couldn't make it. and in the end my tutor called to cancel and im very frustrated that she can call and cancel last minute while i can't cuz she doesn't have a handphone! i mean like helloo it's like 21st century!

sighh anyway everything's a blur nowadays. gotta catch up!

i feel like you no longer tell me things. and im afraid it's gonna last.

2005-03-19T22:23:00.000+13:00

well it's one plus in the morning and here i am with droopy eyes trying to complete my essay. i am so totally lost that i had to resort to checking the web for lit essays for me to refer to. sighh. i am so dreading school on monday. we still have cme project to do and a math test coming up. thankfully there's good friday or i'll just rot in one corner for the rest of the week.

amazingly, i spent my entire saturday at home or at tuition. i had chem tuition first and then rushed home for physics tuition and then spent the rest of the evening finishing up my cip reflections and english article review. im still left with tons of homework though. and i don't intend to do heymath online. im just gonna hand in the print outs on monday. slackness. blehh.

2005-03-16T15:35:00.000+13:00

out of boredom, i was looking through all my chatlogs with people, and i realise that i have not been responding to a lot of people's messages cuz my msn always logs on on its own whenever someone uses the internet and so i wouldn't even know if someone said something or tried to ask me something. ahhh! i think i haf gotta change the settings.

feeling so damn sleepy. i think the medicine's taking it's effect on me. im off to sleep.

2005-03-15T18:06:00.000+13:00

i guess i did expect this day to come. but i din expect you to leave without a word. the silence is unbearable. i hope you'll do well though.

saturdayyy

2005-03-13T11:51:00.000+13:00

i nearly couldn't find my michelle branch cd. the sunday lethargy feeling really sets in. but then again it's sunday which means mugging time.

i had an amazingly long day yesterday that i knocked out at 11pm last night, which is really early for a late night sleeper like me.

so i had to wake up at 8pm to rush down to woodlands, fuchun primary school for my theory exam. my dad unfortunately could not give me a lift, as much as i would have liked him to. so he ended up making my poor sister wake up early to accompany me, thinking i would lose my way there. so i left the house at about 8.45 and reached there at about 9.30. and i met my dear junior nat, who was taking grade 5 as well. i was discussing the topics of the paper with her when i realise that there is actually quite a lot of things that i didn't really read up for the orchestral instruments, like all the clefs used, but thankfully none of that came out. the theory paper was generally quite alright, just that i was completely lost for the italian terms. didn't really bother to memorise so i crapped up things like to be play fluently, sweetly. but the worst part was that there was like 2 or 3 questions on italian terms and worth 2 or 3 marks so there goes my distinction i guess.

ooh but thankfully they gave 2 whole full bars to start off the composition. so i didn't hafta crack my brains to fit the composition formula in.

i had lunch with my sister at bakerzin after that. we tried the chocolate cake with the chocolate filling oozing out. damn nice! haha. met my dad after that at centrepoint and we were just in time for this funny fashion show that they had. the models modelled clothes and shoes from local shops like bata, bossini, robinsons etc. it wasn't that impressive but it was a 'fashion show' so we stayed to watch for a little while.

to which after that, we rushed off to pick my oldest sister from some school function and went back. i merely took a 5 mins rest and rushed out of the house again to meet cheryl at NIE.

we actually wanted to swim for the whole one hour but after swimming for half an hour, we decided to go running. and cheryl had a stupid call from her stupid fren who wanted to tell her about his day. it's kinda a daily routine for her fren to do that, call her and complain about his day. so i ended up running alone for some distance before we finally went off back to the pool toilet to shower. and meano cheryl left me with such little shampoo that i barely washed my hair from all the chlorine! :(

cheryl had to meet her sister at SMU which was up the hill so i went with her since i had a long way before my dad came to fetch me. i literally trekked up the very steep hill, lugging my sling bag along. but i think cheryl had it worse cuz i made her bring all the showering stuff for me! haha!

i had dinner with my family again at great world. and den when i finally got home, i really couldn't take it and slept at 11pm.

sundays can really get boring. and i miss my mummy surprisingly. i wonder how she's doing in beijing! i think she's the only one who can make my dad bring us out on sundays. and now that she isn't around on a sunday, it's plain boredom.

and i can feel the lactic acid in my calves and arms now. arghh. i think im gonna fall sick or something.

somehow i feel like it's gonna end.

2005-03-09T18:21:00.000+13:00

i would like to listen more, talk less.

give more, take less.

accept whoever it is or whatever it is and expect less.

i would just like to tone down a little more.

2005-03-08T17:39:00.000+13:00

i left school early today cuz of some funny side pain that turned out to be very severe towards the end of a math. actually i wanted to wait till dismissal then leave, but i really couldn't hold on any longer. fifi was quite reluctant to sign me the leave form though. i think she thought i was faking it. sheesh.

hmm...good luck for chi talentime tmr! haha i know it's really last minute for everyone but we'll make the best out of it yeah!

last week of school and im kinda looking forward to march hols! i think i mentioned this in my last entry.

i had eye candy ytd! (:

haha yeah theory exam's on saturday. i don't feel confident. the way my piano teacher teaches is like simply referring to the data and copying it offhand. so means i hafta memorise the 'data table' so i'll get my answers right. im not even learning much on concept.

sighh alright. im feeling slack today. i don't get chem. not really at least. blehh.

2005-03-06T19:02:00.000+13:00

layout change! i like it and i don't think i'll change it for quite some time. this week was enrichment week and we had funny activities and games related to money and of course good o cip at bishan, which was damn tiring. but other than that enrichment week was fun. only thing is praxis was quite boring. initially playing the board game was fun, until we carried on playing it for 4 more hours, then it started to turn boring.

one more week till school holiday. more tests coming up again. i think march holidays will really be short. but i wanna make full use of it to go out and haf fun before june holidays come. once june comes, i'll panic. cuz that's so near o levels. really freakyy. ooh goshh.

i know you lied.

2005-02-24T19:07:00.000+13:00

one day i'll flyyy awayy...

2005-02-22T08:36:00.000+13:00

i've just realised how much tuition i have. i only have fridays free and that's only because i have cca until 6 plus. that's how overload i am. and i don't like it. i wanted to keep sundays free but looks like i really have no choice. ooh well.

sad thoughts aside. i didn't really feel like being in the mood for contacts to do, so i just made do with my specs, which made me age by 10 years according to everyone. ahh i dunno. but i feel like going out shopping but there's really no chance of it with 2 tests coming up right after staff seminar holiday.

i really feel like shutting down this blog for good. i dun really see the point of blogging. it's just like writing and letting the world know what on earth happened in your life for the past few months. i don't get how some people can just openly express their dislike for others when they know very well that there are others reading the blog. i mean even if i wanted to complain, i wouldn't like openly announce it on something that's so public and easily accesible to everyone. it seems like the person would be doing it purposely to be spiteful. but then again it really takes all sorts of complex people to make the world go round.

2005-02-22T01:30:00.000+13:00

if i did anything wrong den just say so la k. it's not use just typing it out and believing what others say. cuz it's really no use cuz i really haf no idea what's wrong or what i did mann. pfft. you think you're the only one having a bad day! they're millions of people who are equally moody in school just that they hide things behind a smile. so if you have anything you wanna say, come haf the guts and say it to me man!

2005-02-20T00:56:00.000+13:00

everything i do is wrong. i don't see the point of having a family or a home when i hafta face the same shit when i get home after a long and tiring day. i mean if you choose to think that being the youngest im therefore damn useless and good for nothing, then i honestly don't see the point in telling anyone in the family anything about my life.

2005-02-19T17:39:00.000+13:00

it's been such a horrible week for me. haha i mean all the recent spate of events, all the conflicts, rumours that was never intended to get so far all placed together and packed into a week. and loadsa thoughts that went through my mind.

2005-02-16T19:52:00.000+13:00

i spent my entire afternoon trying to study my chinese chapters for tuition, only to find at 8pm that my tutor wasn't coming. dang! waste of time!

anyway, happy belated v day to everyone. it's the seventh day of cny today so happy birthday to all! haha i think some people in school are quite ignorant abt the whole birthday thing. i've made a new discovery. okie not really discovery, but i realise that most people often put what they like or what they feel on their nicknames. but then there are others who simply put song lyrics or movie quotes. so whenever people come across others with funny heartbroken nicknames or nicknames with a "he" (she for guys) inside, they immediately come to a conclusion that the person's heartbroken. it's odd how we notice things that fast huh.

hmm i actually had more to say but i kinda forgot..hmm..

2005-02-12T16:15:00.000+13:00

school was pretty much a blur today. i was looking forward more to dismissal and i don't seem to remember much of any lessons today.

teachers got pissed but they din say anything to scold us or anything. at least 2 teachers got pissed today. ooh well.

and so that's just the last bit of everything. then it will fade out. it's for a good cause in the long run, i know.

2005-02-10T20:20:00.000+13:00

im feeling so damn lousy. thanks for making me feel this way! i've really got to thank you big time for making me feel so shitty. the time limit keeps extending. but this time round it won't. thank you once again though.

2005-02-09T15:53:00.000+13:00

cny celebrations in school were alright i guess. usual things that they made us do. somehow i dun quite feel in the mood for it though. went out w chengs, minx, mom, cheryl. the rest couldn't make it and halfway we met weiting in her orange shirt. haha cheryl had to leave early to meet her sis and so aft taking neos, we kinda split and i went w minx to look for her wallet. really searched all the surf shops in town before we finally found one that she liked and was willing to spend money on it. i was so tired by the time i got home that i just fell asleep in an attempt to complete watching fruits basket. i dun like the boring sub-sideline stories. only wanna know whether the guys will be rid their curse.

cny visiting's tmr. im hoping my mum won't say anything about my clothes. she might cuz this time round i din go shopping w her so she might end up saying it's too revealing or something. ooh noo.

im off for reunion dinner now. not much time left to change. yikess. happy early cny!

2005-02-06T18:41:00.000+13:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY CHERYL! haha sorry i know it's a bit late that's why there's the belated word there. but hope you enjoyed your day. i promise i'll get you your addidas cap soon! ((:

im glad im catching up with friends whom i've not talked to for ages! haha. im so tired of things. i can't seem to find out what exactly is the reason. it's just this feeling of dread, of hoping that things will pass quickly so that i can get it over and done with. i dunno. it's just this feeling that you can't seem to pinpoint what exactly is wrong. ahh i dunno.

2005-02-04T18:58:00.000+13:00

i went out w chengs and momo today cuz i was craving for macs, especially since i din have recess cuz of chem prac. so we went to lido macs and sat around and talked about everything. and surprisingly a lot of things surfaced. ((:

haha so anyway i took a bus home after that, and i had to walk damn far to the bus stop. coincidentally i missed the bus so i had to wait like eternity for the next bus. and when it finally came, i got on and realise that the bus fare was 1.60 when my ez link only had 1.16. and i din haf small change either. so i told the driver, "er i don't have small change". following that, i dumped whatever coins i had into the hole, which was like only 30 or 50 cents. to which, the driver just issued me a ticket saying 1.60 dollars paid. i was stunned. haha thankfully he wasn't strict or mean.

sighh cny is coming. im so thankful. not that i like going visiting and meeting relatives whom i dun even know how im related to them, but 2 days of holiday with partying w snacks and soft drinks is better than a normal school day. hmm i still dun get rotations. :(

2005-01-31T13:17:00.000+13:00

i have loads to do. let's see. a math wks. e math wks. phy test to study for. lit essay. film review. theory homework. a math test coming up. it'll be amazing if i even have time for tv man. ooh which reminds me im still not done w fruits basket. haha the people borrowing after me will just hafta wait! haha :P

loads have happened this week too. peer leading. no comments about that. im just hoping next session the sec1s will be better.

rc talentime comp. i guess our hopes were really dashed. i don't wanna say too much cuz i know how other school people can somehow find their way here and read this. i just hope my juniors will work hard next year and get it back. it's just disappointing to see how our hardwork for years has just gone down the drain like that. and it's not like we lost by a big margin. we were so close!

2005-01-30T14:29:00.000+13:00

2005-01-25T17:01:00.000+13:00

jaychou piano scores has made me regain my interest in piano again! haha before that it was dying out. but now it has inspired me! ((:

school's tiring! im just relieved ss test is over! school was just plain crappy, i mean the people. haha i made up a stupid thing abt magic wand in the physics lab (that was before tang exploded at us) and cheap-thrilled weiting got all hilarious about it. trust her to laugh at something so stupid.

eli had loads to tell me today. and mox...was just erm mean with the rest. they tried comparing heights and very conveniently towered over me by tipping toe! hmphh! okiee off to study for e math. bleahh.

can you stop the tears.

2005-01-22T16:02:00.000+13:00

my daddy's leaving for orlando tonight! i think im gonna miss him and his jokes and the house will be quieter. it always is when someone leaves for camp or abroad. ooh yes happy hari raya haji! haha i finally got my 10 hours of sleep last night after like what, 2 weeks of slogging? was so damn tired.

i wanted to say "how's your flu" but i changed my statement to "how's your day". i din want to show too much concern. im moving on and im glad i am! ((: and yeah mox is observant! she noticed that the link is off! haha isn't that significant if i removed someone's link?

school's just plain irritating. all that homework just cuz there's a holiday! i don't really get combinations. i mean i get the main idea but to do and think about it is frustrating! haha but so far school's been pretty okie. lessons are more boring compared to last year though. ooh and prefects invest was good! at least i got to meet up with sinwen mm after like eons! haha okiee im exhausted from all that reflections stuff. but i still have loadsa physics tuition work to do! (i just remembered btw) :/

so what's your problem.

2005-01-15T01:32:00.000+13:00

this week actually passed quite fast. lessons and all. im so glad chem test is finally over, though it wasn't exactly easy. ooh wells. haha im stuck w loadsa phy hw now, and chinese tuition tmr. i really dun think i can make time for anything else with tuition and homework this weekend. i hate it when school turns out this way.

so many people are quitting their cca. well chengs quit dance, eli wants to quit swimming. haha kinda weird how you can put up with things for 3 years and then just give up in the final year just like that. ooh speaking of which happy belated birthday to dil and eli! hmm im addicted to ch55! hongkong dramas are way more interesting than singapore ones. at least they have better actors and actresses. and ch55 has like shows that are lined up one after another. but my favourite's the one at 10pm! the guy (nick cheung) got back w his ex, yama although they were divorced for 3 years. i dun really believe that's possible in real life but the setting of the show was nicee! :)

i guess they are a lot of things that we don't take notice of much. hmm like how lost some people feel. we're just so absorbed into our own world that we dun notice how the people around us are feeling. i dunno i guess i just sense it and it does hit me how one person can dislike another and the rest just follow blindly. it's sad in a way. hmm.

well i guess im off to do phy. i dun get wave motion very much. formulae! hate memorising it, much less applying it! ooh well.

i don't get what's going on. im trying to let go.you removed my tag. i knew something like hthat would happen. but i never really thought of it in such a drastic mannner. things re just different.

start of school

2005-01-05T18:01:00.000+13:00

okie quick update before my pilot show on ch55 starts. mmm school's started and im trying my very best to be better this year. haha sec1 orientation was tiring. stayed till 5pm for the last two days but it's worth my 6hours of CIP i guess. haha well it was partly fun too. haha had a good time talking and getting to know the other junior peer leaders. the sec1s were quiet, rather quiet but i guess they've sorta opened up lately so it's a good sign. i can't believe im like finally sec4. it's quite amazing how time flies. cliche, yes. but i still remember the first day of sec1 when i felt lost in secondary school for the first time and now im actually into my last year of sc school life after coming to this school for a decade or so. it scares me. very soon it'll be o's and then everything will be over. things will hafta change, people will hafta move on. ooh gosh. you know how much i hate when things change. hmmm.

2004-12-30T16:51:00.000+13:00

well i guess it's all over now. im not gonna say im gonna like forgive as willingly as before. it's difficult to. but you know what. i dun blame you as much as i thought i would. i guess you had your reasons and maybe you didn't even know what went wrong right? i must have appeared to have lost my temper like a spoilt kid to you. but whateverr. im leaving. and there's no stopping me.

haha the year's almost up. 2004. really eventful. i got to know really nice peeps from 3pe, and they've really brought much joy into my life. so let's just hope it stays this way yeah? hmm sure i guess we've had rumours going around the class, rumours that screwed things up for us, but let's just put it aside yeah?

hmm okie 2005. resolutions, not thought of yet. but to work damn hard is one of them. hmm okieee i guess i haven't got much to say. mmm.

ENTRY BY THE GREAT!

2004-12-29T03:43:00.000+13:00

hey everybody! minxin here! the great me to help sandrapapa to update. and she's currently helping me update tooo! hahahas. kinda bo liao but thats wad bored ppl do! *wink* ahhahas. and i promise i'll do a good job for her!

anywaee, i dunno wad she did todaee. but i know she was definately bored cos she called me on my tuition trip homee. ahhaas. and the funniest part of the conversation was that i tell u i almost laughed till i rolled on the train ground.. *covers face* anywae, yeaahhh. and sandra's official favourite words are "EXCUSE ME!" so never sae anything that u think she will object to cos that's exactly wad she will saee.. hehhh. and she insists that its the HIGH class way of objecting while i still think it's L.C. and if u watched the champion, u shld noe that L.C.P.I.G is low class pig. this name suits sandra totally! *grinns*

hehhh. guess im gonna get killed for saying all these crap but yeaaahh! im enjoying myself quite a lot now.. hehhh. POWER is in my hands!! *evil laughter* wahahahahahhahahahas! okok. back to serious work. errrmmm.. actually i dunno wad else to saeee.. OH YARH! we are going out on fridaayy. ahahhaas. something to keep us occupied. i wanna watch meet the fockers but its NC16! helll.. so sadd ritee. but im gonna bring my IC and try sneak in! heeheee

okok.. this is a lOOOOOOONG entry. sandra better thank me for this. and i think shes happily updating rubbish for me tooo! ahahas. okok. i better pray and expect the worst. (: hahaas. i sound meaann.. shall be niceee to my papa for onceee! papa! i'll rmb to bring ur xmas present and IM STILL WAITING FOR MINE!! grrrrrrr...

this shall be all.. heehhh. this is jus so entertaining! whooots! OFF!

love,
minxx

this is for u: JAY ROCKS! *whisper*: toro and 5566 tooo! (:

xmas and school

2004-12-25T16:01:00.000+13:00

okie i figured that im not going to blog about my trip cuz there's simply too much to say. and even if i write part of it here, it'll be like incomplete. haha okie so anyway if u wanna know then just ask me and i'll tell you everything from the major events to the most minute details. haha okiee.

christmas is like only hours away but im not completely in a xmas mood. kinda weird actually. anyway i went to town today and it was hella crowded. the queues to pay for stuff were extremely long and everywhere we went we had to push through crowds. i just realise i haven't sent out xmas cards this year and i don't think i am going to since it's so late. i think as we grow older we somehow lose track of things. like how i don't receive as many xmas cards as previous years. like how we mature and somehow look back at certain things that we used to do and find it insignificant and silly. and how we just lose the zest and enthusiasm that we see in little kids. musings. it bores you right.

moving on i've gotten my lit notebook today. so that's a good start. i can now start sticking all my articles. i really hate holiday homework. i mean why is it even holiday. cuz it's time for us to rest right! den horrible teachers come along and pile us up with homework! it's a stupid stupid idea.

im so not looking forward to going back to school. i dread slogging for the next 10 to 11 months before O's. and i dread the five day week. i wanna go home early and rest before i start my homework but with school ending so late. i think i can just forget about it. ooh wells. it's a festive season. i should think positive right? right. okie self musings again.

2004-12-24T13:05:00.000+13:00

helllooooo! im backkk! haha europe was fun! haha but very cold! haha went to all the branded shops and to see the mountains and shopping! haha it was great but im equally happy to be back in singapore. only thing is i still have holiday homework to complete. ooh gosh! okie i guess i gtg do my lit! thanx to everyone who tagged! haha!

2004-12-24T02:49:00.000+13:00

she walked a thousand miles. searching. finding. thinking if fate permits, perhaps we'll meet again. all hope was nearly lost, but a glimmer of fate was kept inside nonetheless. all was not wasted when she found it, only to realise that it was too late. tired, she is. nothing left to fight it off. she wishes she could remedy the situation but nothing she does would help in any way.

2004-12-11T19:17:00.000+13:00

okie this will probably be one of the last time i blog before i leave for europe. as i said, i dunno why but i haf mixed feelings about leaving. ooh anyway on a happier note! im doing a shoutout for mox (and maybe some others) cuz she has done one too many for mee! haha okie here it goes...

MOX! haha thanx for all the numerous shoutouts mann! i really really appreciate it! haha yep i think i will enjoy myself in europe although i say that i dun feel like going! well you take care too yeah! im sure u'll have loadsa fun at the jungiery concert seeing all your darling laogongs right! haha i'll get you something from europe!! (: ooh thanx for your a math wks though! i think i'll be hopeless without it when school reopens! haha!

CHERYL! haha so qiao you're leaving on the same day as me man! haha but on a earlier flight! not fair! you should go change your flight then we can meet at the airport! mwahaha! haha anyway haf fun in bangkok! and be niceee to your mummy! hahaha! and dun forget your pact! you inspired me! i'll have a pact done up tooo!

CHARM! haha okie sorry won't be going hip hop with you this sunday! but you'll have fun there right! haha!

ELI! haha i think you're in penang right now! but i haf so much to say to you though. haha but bus rides next year will help yeah?

JEANETTE! hey!! haha i dunno if you still visit my blog. you said you're kinda out of touch w internet stuff? haha anyway thanx for just being there for so many years. ever since sec1! thanx so much! we said we'll go out but i guess i kept postponing it! so sorry i'll make it up to you all k! haha!

okie. i wanna shout out to someone else but i dun think he's reading so nevermind. haha okie i'll be back to update soon. but not sure when. maybe tmr i'll update one last time! (:

2004-12-10T20:19:00.000+13:00

mox has gone off to shower (and she claims santa's on her way to her house! erm!). im left with no one nice and interesting to talk to! ): haha anyway i saw the orion belt today! and i thought of a friend of mine! haha kinda weird cuz the thought just popped into my head when i saw it! mmm.

leaving so soon. funny funny feeling i have. i wanna stay in singapore though. i haven't gotten sick of staying at home yet. I want to just pig out all day in front of the tv, use the comp, occasionally play the piano if i feel like it, or call people and disturb them. ooh wells.

guess im off to do my math.

2004-12-06T19:45:00.000+13:00

"and so she's quietly waiting. for nothing actually. she hopes for it, but she knows that it can only appear in her wildest dreams. she's leaving. she sits by the window, stares at the sky. wonders deeply to herself whether he's aware. of course. why would he. she is only but a shadow passing by. and there's nothing she can do. but to wait and wait."

haha just an extract from a internet story that i read. thought it was pretty sad though. haha! okie nvm.

2004-12-04T00:06:00.000+13:00

do you realise that chinese songs are more touching than english songs? haha i dunno i find that chinese songs are a whole lot more straightforward than english songs. maybe it's cuz i dun listen much to chinese pop. but yeah chinese songs makes you get more emotional.

had great fun today. although i didn't do anything that seems fun like movies or going out. just went walking around and sat and talked with cheryl. but i guess it was equally fun. had so much to talk about. that's quite rare. haha i dunno. oh well. i guess i should get off. a math here i comeee!

2004-12-02T08:46:00.000+13:00

actually i dun feel like updating, but at the request of mox, here i am! sigh! nothing much has been going on i guess. i feel like going out but im always caught up with tuition in the afternoon or in the evening so there goes my plan. but i really wanna step out of the house, get my:
-sweaters
-jeans
-jay fantasy album
-sling bag

ooh well. i hate staying at home. that's one thing for sure. i always have this plan of like completing my holiday hw and doing my a math revision but guess what, the temptation of the comp comes along and then everything's ruined. oh well

i hereby declare Mox my good fren cuz she thinks jay rox. and Cheryl the very uncompassionate one. she says that jay looks like he wants to kill people so if he kills me she'll laugh. ooh gosh. how mean is that! okie i think im done here. haha i updated! whee!

2004-11-29T01:09:00.000+13:00

mesmerised. captivated. in awe. that's all i can say about the jay concert. 148 bucks is definitely worth it! it's probably one of the best concerts i've ever been to in such a while! okies, i won't go into too much detail about it, will be too tedious but just a little. haha okies i guess everyone knows he had nan quan ma ma and landy to come in and perform. i hafta say nan quan ma ma has quite a lot of talented members. like the guy who performed the piano piece with jay! it was like so damn good cuz he's so quick with his fingers! of course jay was equally good. i realise he has huge hands and long fingers so that's a plus point for playing piano! and landy performed her song and did her usual ass shaking thing but the part when she sang the birthday song thing was good la! haha okie now i feel like downloading all the songs that aren't on the jay cds that i have. haha jay chou sang all the sad songs really well though, ~~i almost broke down~~ and the fast songs like long quan was needless to say, happening, fast and with all the special effects, it was just fantabulous! haha okies i guess that's all i hafta say abt the concert.

had a very busy weekend though. went down to nydc for lunch and then to shop for shoes for cinderalla after hip hop w charm. haha too bad she din get the adidas pair which was much nicer. ahh dunno why i just wasn't in the mood to talk much, guess cuz loadsa things have happened that affected me. oh wells. i will be strong and get over it! (:

2004-11-27T20:56:00.000+13:00

im so so damn freaked out!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

2004-11-27T19:15:00.000+13:00

fancy being home on a friday night when everyone's out having fun. bummer! oh wells but i did take a trip down to town today, did a bit of shopping for my beanie and sunglasses. i didn't think sunglasses was a necessity, but after attending the briefing on what to bring yesterday, i guess it's more or less a must-bring. oh yes, about the briefing, didn't really see many people my age. most people going on that tour are like families with older people. there were some people, probably around secondary school age too, but they don't seem to be very nice people. i shall just stick to myself and be anti-social. not a bad idea huh.

i saw this nice bag in town. it's pretty but 50 bucks. i hate spending money so readily like that. like if it's a huge amount i will turn twice. hmm i didn't manage to get the beanie, saw really many colourful ones at accessorize but they were like 4o odd so i kinda decided it's not worth it. ahh okie i guess final stop would be suntec, which means going down on a sunday. haha.

ooh i downloaded jie kou ringtone! cuz i was utterly bored! plus, i kinda needed something to perk up my phone! hmm there's more to just downloading the ringtone though. and of course im very excited for the concert tomorrow! ive decided to listen to jay songs for the next erm, 24 hours! haha it's the jay season!! whooo!

im getting the same jaded feeling i get every month. okie not every month, just when things turn stale. im giving up on it this time round though. i think i've said that i will give up a million times, those who know me will know that. but i know this time is for real, and it's for a pretty good reason too. it wouldn't be a decision done on impulse. and yes that explains my burnt out and ringtone downloading. hmmmm.

2004-11-25T20:28:00.000+13:00

HELLO! my comp's finally working! had some funny virus that self installed some porn software, and then my cables just didn't work all of a sudden so my internet connection was totally busted! ooh well im just relieved to get back my comp!

hmm okie loadsa things have happened over the past few days. went out quite a lot that i feel so guilty. okie hmm saturday we went to momo's concert with cheryl, mox, wanlin, chengs, clarice. momo was good la but the rest of the performance was quite boring. haha we only cheered loudly after momo performed. hmm to which after that we had dinner at billy bombers.

i had my senior's bbq on monday. went out with charlene before that and watched incredibles!! haha it was really hilarious and dash was so super cute! haha i think he's my favourite! hmm the bbq was okie i guess. kinda different from other bbq we had though, like normally by the time it's 7pm everyone would have been dunked into the pool but this time round everyone was just hanging around. i discovered that sw mm's hse has a swing though! for the first time, despite being there like 3 or 4 times! haha i never knew the playground existed! haha well i stayed home all of tue though. had tuition and my piano teacher's signing me up for grade 5 theory exam! *noooo* says i should retake since i just passed the last time round. what waste of time. okie nvm i guess i shld stop. haha i wanna go blog visiting. haven't done that in quite a while!!

winter shopping

2004-11-19T18:57:00.000+13:00

i just bought two boxes of merci christmas chocolates only to realise that angel and ward revealing's been postponed. darn, now what am i gonna do with it! hmm maybe i shld give it to my ward. afterall, i've been feeling quite guilty that she's loading me with yummy stuff while i, er, just write her foolscap letters. bahh.

i wanted to get out of the house today to get my bag from flash and splash. but my mum ended up going all the way to centrepoint instead to get her winter clothes. arghh, im just praying that my bag will still be there when i go back like maybe this saturday or sunday. and the wallet too! though im not sure if the wallet's worth buying. i was crazy over it when i first saw it but now...i don't think it's that fantastic anymore.

anyway my mum's pretty much done with her winter shopping. she's got her big winter jacket and her trench coat all ready while i haven't started on anything yet. hmm im supposed to get something like a trench coat but seriously, most trench coats are humongous, how am i gonna find something that's gonna fit me!! ):

i told a terrible lie today. okie a white lie. but yeah i know it affects somehow (not a lot i think) but i just didn't have the courage to tell the truth. crapp. okie it's o.c time!

hari raya puasa

2004-11-16T00:13:00.000+13:00

my sister cleared her room today and she found a whole load of items that belongs to me. basically just hair and earring stuff and gosh i really found that i have a lot of unused hair ties that still have the stickers on them. and i found many pairs of new earrings that i bought but never worn it. arghh to think i was wondering a few months ago where all my new earrings had gone to. ooh well i think i have this thing about losing earrings. keep losing them. i lost my pretty butterfly ones too! ):

i feel awfully relaxed today. awful cuz im supposed to be doing my holiday homework. k let's see.. all i did today was basically staying at home. woke up at 10.45am and then went off to bathe, had lunch, den i had this sudden impulse to try out blending pictures. haha managed to pick it up and did a funny blend on people smiling, wanted to feel a bit happier la. but cheryl said that the man in front looks like a chee ko pek. haha okies maybe i shouldn't have placed him in the centre but i thought he looked really cute with the peace sign. okies maybe i'll upload it later or something. it's not very fantastic though, since it's my first. bleah. hahas.

ooh hip hop rocked big time though! (:

okies the only thing im looking forward to looking at is watching the very funny eight o'clock show on ch55 starring guo jin an who says the very hilarious phrase "come on go go go!". of course there's the very cute guy called weishun in that show (which is also part of why im watching it) . of course im also waiting to watch everyone's favourite the champion! really happy that toro saw yilin put the drugs into kaixin's locker. but i missed friday's episode. darn. dun get to see all the confrontation! haha okies all i hope is for the coach to end up with jingwen and not jamie yeo. haha! okies shld go now. too much rant.

2004-11-15T03:31:00.000+13:00

im feeling damn shitty right now. it doesn't help that im trying to find someone to kill my boredom and that person keeps asking me wassup like a hundred million times. dunno what's your problem and i dun wanna know anyway.

2004-11-14T00:57:00.000+13:00

helloooo! the great one is here to blog again! heh ain't i a regular blogger! haha okies i got this whole new layout done up, okie not done up cuz i din make it on my own but i managed to find this which is really nice to me so yeah. i got a chatterbox too so please go tagg yeah. haha actually i never liked a chatterbox last time cuz it always gets stagnant but i guess it's fine now so yeah please tag yeah! haha! i intended to revise physics today but i had this funny side pain. like somewhere near the appendix but it's much better now. i hope it's not appendicitis though! haha i spent the entire day sleeping though. how aimless. woke up at 12 den had funny side pain so i went back to sleep at three all the way to five and woke up to watch healing hands! haha i lurveee watching healing hands. nick cheung looks good there only thing is they hardly show him! haha! ada choi looks so much skinnier there though. haha okies i guess that's about all for now. not sure if im going to see a doc later but hopefully i'll get better! (:

huge fountain

2004-11-12T19:41:00.000+13:00

my dad's back from new york. went to the airport to pick him today and on the way back i saw this really huge fountain from the highway. it was like really quite high cuz i could see at least half of it from the highway. we went to check out where it was located and ended up driving in rounds before we finally caught a glimpse of it. but too bad we couldn't access it cuz there was like no driveway leading to the park where the fountain was. the fountain was really pretty though, i think one of the rare ones that i've seen in singapore. plus it was surrounded by loadsa trees cuz it was kinda near the river bank area so it looks like one of those serene parks in like, the states or something. haha well i guess i should go now. not feeling too good today. throat doesn't seem to hurt but it does occasionally. blehh.

2004-11-11T22:43:00.000+13:00

im saying goodbye to my swimming costume. :( my aunt just called saying that her daughter needs a swimming costume for some school camp and my mum (trying to be the generous one) kindly offered to lend her my swimming costume! and i can so forget about getting it back cuz it hardly comes back anyway! ooh gosh. dunno what to say man. there goes my plans to swim and lose weight this hols.

2004-11-10T17:26:00.000+13:00

i stumbled upon a picture of someone today. i won't say who but i didn't expect to find it. but i guess now i've decided what i really want. haha okies. nvm i dun tink im making sense anyway.

so terribly bored though. spend almost the entire day reading the five people you meet in heaven. makes you ponder about life and of course somehow it's just not disturbing. unlike da vinci code. i mean da vinci code was good, brilliant actually. just that it was a little eerie, and warped things that dan brown came up with.

waiting for champion to start. ahhh im addicted to that show now, just like any other teen in singapore. what a teeny-movie.

you know i don't see the point in saying hi to someone online all the time. it's quite amazing that you might have like 40 odd people online on ur msn list but you barely know half of them very well. so in another words, you just ignore them and treat them like total strangers, whether they happen to be friends in school that you see very often but do not say hi, or whether they are your friend's friend. so actually, maybe for most people, only half of their list consists of people they really know and regard as true friends. hmm don't you agree?

and then of course, there are people that you simply just don't feel like saying hi cuz you know that the person will not reply in the end. or the person replies with a "hi" and then that's it, end of conversation. nothing more to that. so at the end of the day, you ask yourself why on earth should you even bother to say hi, when in the end nothing comes out of the conversation. at the very most it makes you seem like you appear to be one of those that you would term as i know her by face and by name and she's friendly but we just don't have much to say to each other. so all in all, maybe we should all just keep to ourselves and not to say hi unless you're like 100% sure that the person will reply. ooh wells.

okies i guess there isn't much to say since there's been going on much. =P

2004-11-08T13:04:00.000+13:00

i feel like changing my layout now that i see everyone has changed theirs! but i still like this one! like the picture in the background! i seriously need to change my gb layout though! the stupidd picture just won't appear. ahh sighh i just had physics tuition and it was badd! okie sorry for the lack of vocab but it was really horrid! my tutor and my mum had this whole convo on how they plan to help me with my physics grades and then my tutor went on about how i'm always sleepy during tuition. ahhh that was like the worst thing that can happen! as it is my mum's already so fussy about going out or even going to sch for rc meetings and then now a complaint about me being sleepy comes along! ooh gosh! i think im really gonna get it! i dun blame my tutor, but this complain of his which i know he means well, will really get me into big trouble man!

well on a brighter note, my dad's coming back on friday morning! from new york that is! yay! at least the house wouldn't be so empty and quiet anymore. that just shows the impact he makes. few more weeks before i fly off to europe. can't wait.

cut hair day

2004-11-06T17:58:00.000+13:00

i cut my hair!! but it looks kinda weird cuz of my rebonded hair. only the bottom part of my hair is rebonded and the upper part is like my original hair. so techinically it's kinda "bigger" at the top. makes me look like a....egg? how stupid!! pfft. actually i wanted the guy to cut for me a slanted fringe but decided to trim in the end cuz he said my hair might "fly out". oh wells.

cheryl went with me to cut yesterday anyway! hers was actually not bad, made her look more matured. we saw loadsa people we know in town. was actually sorta supposed to meet eli and the rest cuz they so coincidentally were in town too but cheryl and i ended up going to this funny jap place for sushi buffet. think it was called yuki yaki. so stupid cuz we had to choose between the tepanyaki and steamboat. so we chose teppanyaki and then we didn't know how to fry the stuff and we actually wanted to eat more but had to go up for the shark tale movie. haha shark tale wasn't that fantastic, only funny at the last parts. other than that not as good as something like finding nemo. haha sigh okies so that's my day. bleah i hope it's not too monotone.

2004-11-02T22:19:00.000+13:00

ahh it's been quite a while since i last updated! but nvm! haha!

chinese o's wasn't that bad but it was difficult. the compre was like higher chinese standard. something about how we should be more open-hearted. you know the typical type of passages where the school gives and then makes you write something about life philosophy or how we should live life. haha okie i hope my intepretation was correct. haha anyway im scared i'll go out of point for compo though. i had to choose the story writing one although i kinda have a phobia for such topics. used to write stories and then at the end of it when the paper comes back the teacher will say something like my essay was not what the question required! bahh! hope it doesn't turn out like that! i want my a1! :(

today wasn't so bad. although technically we did nothing! math quiz was fun fun fun! okie partly cuz our class won the competition and we were like the noisiest! think other classes must have been quite offended! the best was chengs though! she practically shouted "LINEAR" into the mike! haha! damn hilarious! but beertini and jillian were good! hahas!

after math quiz we had pizza! in the courtyard though. the funny canadian pizza man got our orders wrong! we ordered three and he thought it was like the 2 for 1 offer so they ended up delivering 6! was like 94 dollars and poor kasita had to pay the most while the rest of us paid the remaining! ahh i paid 20 bucks to cover up so PEas better pay class fund okies! haha!

wits wasn't that bad. just kinda lengthy. but the last group's presentation slides were good!! like everyone around me wanted them to win so we gave them quite high for their audio/visuals section! haha but wits was like really boring actually.

wits kinda ended early after that so we had like one hour with nothing much to do. so cheryl mox and i went off to caltex to eat ice cream. i just realised it's always the 3 of us. like at kasita's house it was also the 3 of us. i just realised that i've never really been out with weiting at all. like...ooh actually never ever been out with her. wanted to when exams ended but too bad we ended on different days. bleah.

had a good time laughing at cheryl the super blur one during chem prac! she was like way ahead of me in titration. then she started squeezing out the solution from the burette and she so enthusiastically said something like, "ooh look im mixing it!". then i looked at her solution and then it was like totally colourless. then i was like, "did you add indicator?". then she suddenly stopped and was like "oooh yeah hor!". hahaha crazy man!

sighh okies i guess that's just my whole day. felt so sticky when i got home. the weather today's weird la. first it was so hot in the afternoon, then it just rained. ahhh okies i guess this is pretty long enough. haha!

hopelessly waiting. without a clue. just a shadow. passing by.

2004-10-15T03:06:00.000+13:00

sandra is irritated! really irritated with someone! haha okies not that irritated actually, but just a bit frustrated. i don't really feel like blogging but there's really nothing much to do. sigh 3 marking days and i spent it doing nothing. only fun thing that happened was class party. turned out really fun and kasita's house is so gigantic that it has almost everything that i want. the pool, track mill, bball court. who would go bored with all that? anyway other than that i didn't really do anything else that was productive. i was supposed to make my i/c today but before leaving the house my mum realise that we didn't have a photocopy of my dad's i/c and she scolded me for not being responsible and independent to check all these things on my own. sheesh.

oh wells i have yet to start on chinese o levels. just plain slacking and doing nothing at home. i've got to get started soon. possibly tomorrow when i get back. ooh shoot which reminds me i have to go take a passport photo. sighh hope i'll go cut my hair soon! not sure where to go though. okies me's getting back results tmr. pls pray that i won't fail anything. sigh it's so stupid that i used to bother abt whether i'll get my a1 but now i've degraded to bothering whether i'll fail. im so screwed. sec3 is a bad year.

2004-10-13T04:52:00.000+13:00

Many's the time I ran with you down
The rainy roads of our old town
Many the lives we lived in each day
And buried altogether

Don't laugh at me
Don't look away

You'll follow me back
With the sun in your eyes
And on your own
Bedshaped
And legs of stone
You'll knock on my door
And up we'll go
In white light
I don't think so

But what do I know
What do I know?
I know
I know you think I'm holding you down
And I've fallen by the wayside now
And I don't understand the same things as you
But I do

Don't laugh at me
Don't look away

You follow me back
With the sun in your eyes
And on your own
Bedshaped
And legs of stone
You'll knock on my door
And up we'll go
In white light
I don't think so

But what do I know
What do I know?
I know

Oh and up we'll go
In white light
I don't think so
But what do I know

What do I know?
I know

post exams

2004-10-12T02:46:00.000+13:00

exams are overrrrr!! yipeee! not so happy actually. haha dunno why but anyway had a fun time watching white chicks with chengs, momo and cheryl. too bad the geog girls din come along with us or else it would have been much fun-ner (if there's such a word :P). haha anyway white chicks was funny! a bit gross with all the fake masks and the imposters really looked super fake, like how a person would look after plastic surgery. haha but it was funny la.

hmm din really see anyone in town though. except loadsa jc students, but other than that orchard was quiet. like really quiet. im looking forward to class party though! yippeeeee!and of course definitely not looking forward to friday. dreaded results.

think my blog needs a makeover. shall go source for nice layouts! ((:

devastated

2004-10-08T23:29:00.000+13:00

utterly devastated. how could i not have seen that the midpoint was the solution to everything! my whole nine marks! i am so screwed! i just wanna cry. cannot help but think and regret about how i could have seen and put everything right in place within that two hours. but i had to mess up. sigh please pray i won't get retained. -dies-

poor poor hammie

2004-09-22T03:02:00.000+13:00

school's tiring. i just can't wait for exams to be over. hmm..to be exact, i can't wait for the chinese o levels to be over. exam's just less than 2 weeks away, sigh i'm panicking. stupid haven't started on lit, dunno how im gonna survive my king of castle text. sigh im so screwed!!

you know what, i think cooping yourself up at home and studying all day makes you fat!! ooh anyway my hamster died. okaay technically it isn't mine, it's my sister's. but you know what, even though it's hers she like practically neglects it. i think the last time she changed its bedding before it died was a month ago. that's the pathetic unhygenic state that the poor hammie lives in. plus, there's always no food for it cuz someone is just too busy with her minute daily affairs that she does not haf enough compassion to go and see it. i mean yeah i feel damn sorry for the hamster to die because it had to live amongst dirty bedding. and the best part of it all was that when i told her that it died, all she did was to turn silent for like what, 2 mins before going on happily telling us about how her day at work went. sheesh. ahh okie i won't comment further. how infuriating.

terminal

2004-09-12T02:52:00.000+13:00

i got sick and tired of analysing my poem. I just realise that I have a whole load of uncompleted homework. the result of procrastination. i mean i stayed home for like half of the hols but got nothing done. finals are coming. im sure everyone's worried but im more worried than anything else. oh wells.

i watched the terminal!! :)) i got a bit restless cuz it was kinda a bit draggy and long winded but apart from that it was quite good. the guy (tom hanks) was really sweet and all and down to earth. haha it just made me realise that the not so good looking guys in real life are actually the ones who are much nicer and honest. while the good looking ones are the ones who end up cheating on you.

okie guess i'll get off. seems like no one seems to be coming online much anymore though.

drifted

2004-09-09T15:43:00.000+13:00

one word. drifted. i used to think that it would matter a lot to me. but the more i look at things the more i find that it no longer has an impact on me. perhaps it's for the better.

2004-09-08T01:42:00.000+13:00

ahh okie i get the rose part.

2004-09-07T08:49:00.000+13:00

haven't you noticed that a lot of people on msn have the funny rose thingy beside their nickname? like all of a sudden everyone has it beside their nickname. okie just a random point i noted.

anyway yesterday was fun. met weiting, eli, chengx, and ramona at macs for breakfast and met several other rc people there too. haha so qiao! haha anyway had a fun time laughing at weiting being a russian spy. it's a long story how eli and me came up with the idea! haha! anyway soon after that, mox came and we were supposed to help her with her lit homework but ended up laughing and talking nonsense. oh yeah which reminds me that i need to search for a lit poem. dang!!

hmm well at abt 12.30 we decided to head to school for the

tuas incineration plant visit. den was damn funny cuz it like started to rain so we like ran around looking a cab and den when we finally found one, we were drenched like anything but thank goodness we were wearing pe so not so bad. so we finally reached sch at like 12.50? not so bad cuz we tot we were gonna be late. met the rest of the PEas who were going.

haha okie so on to the incineration plant. wasn't that bad except that it stinked like anything. really smelly except for the places that were air-conditioned. but it was fun to see how they used the huge crane to move the rubbish here and there. like woahh! haha okie nvm, and u know the funny thing abt it? haha we found out that mr jeow and the guy who brought us around for the tour were ex-classmates! haha and for that they decided to take a picture together! haha like so qiao! haha well the trip on the way back was funny la. sat with kasita and had fun exploring her cool phone that looks like a palm top. half the time my phone was with eli and weiting.dunno what they were doing w my phone but they kept taking pictures with it. haha okie guess it's back to my horrid horrid math. ):

2004-09-05T22:28:00.000+13:00

okies sigh it's another boring sunday afternoon. had the usual tuition jus that my tutor was like late again by half an hour! but wans't so bad since he called to apologised! then after that i dunno why but i felt like showering again in the afternoon. haha so went to take a shower and watched a bit of zhen qing. and here i am blogging. still waiting for my parents to decide where they wanna go for dinner. so irritated, by right we should be out of the house by now but my dear dad who takes like super long to bathe hasn't even bathed yet. think by the time he finishes it'll be 8 plus!! ahh..

anyway im so disturbed by this saddening dream i had. okie maybe not dream. more like nightmare! i just dreamt that someone close to me was in huge huge trouble and i felt so worried and the ironic thing is that in the dream, i thought that i was dreaming so i pinched myself to check and realise that i wasn't dreaming. so when i finally woke up from the nightmare, was so relieved to find that it was just a dream. hmm okie i dunno if im making sense but nevermind.

im off to tuas incineration plant tmr. still not sure if im going breakfast w the rest who are going tmr. haha okie guess gotta get back to a math. im so irritated though, that i waited for you to reply my sms all morning and afternoon and you didn't. and when you finally came online, i was nice to take the initiative to say hi first but guess what you just left like i was non-existent. im tired of this la. if you wanna continue acting like that then there's really nothing else i can do.

2004-09-04T16:14:00.000+13:00

You are blessed with FAERY wings. Beauty,
laughter, life, magic...that's what you are all
about. You are refreshingly innocent and happy
with your life of purity and play. Life's a
game and it's a good one. In your eyes there's
no way to lose! You can be very mischeivous and
have been known to cause trouble, but it's all
in the name of fun and not meant to really harm
anyone. You like to play tricks on people who
aren't quite as bright or clever as you - which
is almost everyone. Nature is the setting you
prefer to be in - Always. Barefoot and wild you
can't be tamed. You're probably a restless
spirit who loves to travel, and quite a
dreamer. Your creativity is astounding and your
art (of whatever media - from writing to
painting to drama) is like something from
another world - ethereal and often very
fantasy-oriented. You can either be a social
butterfly or a loner with their head in the
clouds - but rarely inbetween. You stubbornly
refuse to accept responsibility or to give in
to the wishes of others - unless you feel like
it. You have a strong passion for music and
can't imagine life without it. You'll grow up
someday, but you'll always be a child at heart.
You are adventurous and love to take risks, and
feel a deep connection with the weather,
plants, and animals. You prefer sunshine to
thunder or snow, the warmth of summer to
autumn's chill, and quiet forests to suburban
backyards. Magic through and through, you are
far more powerful than you seem, and are
capable of being extremely passionate. Though
you can be childish, naive, stubborn, and
self-absorbed, one thing is certain - life with
you will never be boring!

Image copyright Sheila Wolk (prints available
through treefreegreetings.com), words added by
myself.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

haha found this quiz on ramona's blog. won't say that it exactly appeals to me but only some parts of what it says is true of me. haha okie guess im off now.

honours day

2004-09-03T22:02:00.000+13:00

honours day was actually quite fast! tot ti would like last til 4 but it ended at 3 plus. haha well yeah it's basically quite a waste of time actually, cuz like the whole unit gets honoured, so what's the speciality in it. but this year lesser cca groups got nominated..think the performing arts also. but partly cuz there weren't any syf comps this year.

oh i had the she'll be loved song stuck in my head today in school cuz i heard it jus before i left the car. den i was like singing it den all of a sudden karen popped out and she was singing it too. haha so funny!! haha weiting was completely madd during recess today though. she jus kept laughing hysterically and beth and y felt so embarrassed by her. heh, okie stinky me shall go off to bathe.

2004-08-29T02:05:00.000+13:00

just read the lyrics of qi li xiang and it so totally rocks my socks! i mean maybe my chinese standard is low la, but the lyrics is definitely quite well written. well had a yummy dinner today! went to geylang to haf durians and den went off to some other part of geylang for tao hui and yummy mee sua! haha i never knew geylang had good food though, always had the impression that it just a red light district.

ahh well some stuff at rc happened today. i guess i couldn't help but break down. i mean yeah it really did affect me quite a lot and i guess i never want it to happen again. i tink im like something like a big escapist cuz i keep running away from things and when i finally face it, i get scared again and move away. ahh dunno. not making sense

2004-08-27T02:32:00.000+13:00

hehe not supposed to be updating on a weekday but ahh can't help it. well had quite a long day today. lit lecture till 3 plus and den went off to tuition at 6. sighh feel so bad that i keep slacking when exams are like super near! ahh!!

guess not all things are going fine. especially when it comes to friendship stuff. i think i really need a break la. i mean yeah i cannot carry on pretending that i am fine with things cuz im not. and i wouldn't let myself lapse into this unhappiness within.

open house!

2004-08-22T16:43:00.000+13:00

open house was long, boring and tiring! all we did was evac now and then and footdrill (but that was only for the first half cuz eventually everyone got tired of doing the drills). other than that all we did was sit around and spray the silly oxide spray from the first aid kit and laugh at each other when the layer of oxide remains there. wad a waste of time!

gonna haf physics tuition soon. so dreading it. 2 hours of it and i tell you i so can die of boredom!! but on a lighter note most likely gonna buy a new handphone cuz my poor sister lost hers last friday. she left it at burger king and when she realise she lost it, she went back and it was gone! so means someone stole itcuz burger king people said they din find it. poor jie was so upset for the entire friday night. i think i would be too, especially losing all your precious messages!! sighs but hey at least i get a new phone! (:

drifted, leading to nowhere

2004-08-21T18:42:00.000+13:00

sighs blogging for a second time cuz im so so bored. i guess i've been qutie mean to my oldest sister la. but sometimes she's really quite guo fen. but i guess like what my parents said jus give and take and hopefully im not the one whose always giving and not getting anything back in return.

i dunno i jus feel like i'm drifing away from sec1 friends. like yeah i can't really find time to like go movies with them and in fact i feel so guilty cuz they keep asking and i've rejected them so many times. i mean yeah i can sense it, like how she signs or comments at other people's blogs (people that i don't think are very close to her), and how i don't think she even cares about coming here. i mean i dunno la. it's complicated. im trying to revive the situation but i can't i guess. maybe it's possible but it'll be difficult. arghh.

im tired of thinking of topics to keep the conversation going. do you realise every time we talk i ask the same questions and you give me the same answer? and then when i keep silent after that the conversation just totally ends right there and then. im tired of this im jus gonna leave things the way it is.

tired

2004-08-21T02:30:00.000+13:00

im dead beat. school ended early today but stayed back til 4 to do open house stuff and help the sec3s with their first aid exam. actually it ended at 3 but dunno y i decided to hang around w cheryl and elizabeth til 4. had a really quick lunch w elizabeth at macs after that before going home.

and on the way wanted to change my tuition BUT due to some unforeseen circumstances *glares at that person*, i couldn't change it so I ended up having a 2 hour tuition. technically it's 1 and a half hrs but somehow my tutor always stays til 2 hours. i tink she thinks it's 2 hours or something. sighhs okies guess not much to say. ahh okie.

not fun!

2004-08-14T20:25:00.000+13:00

i guess being an nco isn't all that fun. used to think that ncos really have the time of their life during rc hours, just slacking around and most importantly having the option of not falling in with the squad. but guess today's meeting made me realise how boring it can be. had like so much free time after teaching the sec3s that i ended up walking aimlessly to and fro around the school, occasionally popping into other people's classes to check what they're doing. but other than that, it's really nothing much. sighs not sure if it'll be like this next time though.

still thinking about what jane said, like how i can stand it. not sure how i ever tolerated it but yeah i feel the distance now. i think it will get worst in future but yeah maybe it's time to move on.

bored...

2004-08-10T20:27:00.001+13:00

feeling kinda sucky. was intending to go out and get my jeans from levi's but stuck at home with my horrid stack of homework! sighss! how unfated. feels like im destined to stay at home forever!
i can't seem so get chem calculations right! like i dunno what step comes next and then everything goes b-l-a-n-k! sighhs! i really feel like changing my chem tuition. not even sure if that weird new psc scholar will be good.
anywaes i kinda exploded at my sis ytd. just couldn't take how she was so mean. like she had to change the hamster bedding but just cos she was too lazy, she left everything to my maid and my mum to handle. and my maid was already busy enough cooking the fish and changing the hamster bedding while the fish was steaming. so yeah kinda argued for the first time with her and i got tired after screaming at her. was actually panting after that. kinda weird.

leaving on a jet plane

2004-08-08T02:55:00.001+13:00

well poc was...depressing i guess. i couldn't help but tear up when we were reading the message to the seniors. i mean yeah all that we said was like really true, like how they were there for us, helping us. i tried to control my tears but i really couldn't take it when ying min mm gave her speech and she just broke down halfway. somehow i just felt the sadness in everything. like she was touched and happy that the sec1s have come so far and just sad to leave everything behind. i think every other nco must have felt the same way too.

i guess after we take over, things will definitely change. i dunno how we'll drift apart as a level but hopefully it wouldn't come to a point that it'll affect the unit as well. i tink jane's right that things will change. like how once u graduate then the relationship with your senior will just change. i mean yeah, it's expected that it'll change but how much it'll change really depends. im just hoping for a less drastic change. sigh i dunno. guess i shouldn't be saying so much anyway.

new blog!

2004-08-05T22:31:00.000+13:00

okies im finally done with creating this blog! had so much trouble looking for a nice layout and finally found this one...dun tink it's very very nice but it was like the best that i managed to find!

anyway decided to shift since i've had that old blog at diaryland for quite some time! won't be updating very much though since school's like totally stressing me out! sighhs. i can't believe that i've actually survived a whole week of tests and cca promo test! like one moment i was dreading it and worrying about it and the next min im like finally rid of it! quite relieved that the holidays are finally coming! not sure if im going off to stay the marina mandarin but yeah if i do den i'll get to go shopping! and look for nice stuff at the flash n splash at citylink!

im gonna have first aid duty first shift tomorrow! im just praying hard that no one will faint! i think chances are people will faint or feel giddy! sighs just hope i dun malu myself if i dun know my first aid well enough! i still can't believe that POC is actually tomorrow! im gonna miss my seniors like anything! somehow just feeling kinda scared at the thought of my level taking over, it's gonna be so different. im like gonna miss falling in. i mean sure there were times when things din go our way as a cadet and we complained like anything but thinking back it is actually not so bad being a cadet anymore. i think i will really miss things the way they are. i dun like changes! im not adaptable to it!

sigh im still not done with fixing up my seniors' presents! was supposed to get a present for one of them but kinda ran out of time. intended to go down to town ytd but had promos so couldn't. and i still need to doll up the present and stuff! sighh. dun want things to end off so soon.